Been there, done that – so here are some of my thoughts during my confinement period. These tips are definitely good to know whilst visiting your new mommy friend whom may have just given birth in the hospital or doing their confinement at home.
Dedicated to all preggy mommies – please preempt your friends before they come over!
1. Get her favourite food/snack before visiting!
Simple pleasures such a bubble tea with pearls, cheese fries, chocolates and potato chips seems OUT OF REACH with a newborn baby. Of cause, you can check with her if she’s undergoing a strict confinement food menu & what’s under her can-eat food items (approved by nanny/mother/MIL). I had super bad craving for sashimi and truffle fries, so I was dying to have them during my confinement period so Wayne have to go out and buy them for me! Cause the day-to-day chores are so overwhelming and food is usually the last thing in mind, but the best thing if it appears. So please, remember to buy okay.
2. Forget about buying baby clothings, please.
There are just too many of these clothing and some may not even fit due to different cutting and sizes, whatever (I’m sorry). Baby K weighs 3.79kg at birth, hence he cannot fit into ANY of those newborn clothings at all. So if you’re buying a gift for baby, you can get practical items such as diapers (Merries or Pampers is good!), milk-bottles accessories (if you know the brand she’s using), wet tissues (any brand will do) or any Mothercare/NTUC vouchers are just as awesome too. They will be so helpful cause all mommies are practical, thanks in advance!
3. Give a heads up before visiting, please and thank you.
New moms are extremely exhausted all-day everyday and living their time zone of their newborns’ schedule. The first week is the craziest cause there’s a lot of adaptation of having a baby, getting used to the 2-3 hours feeding all round the clock, pain everywhere, no sleep, breast engorgement and the list goes on. Thus, it is basic respect to inform new mommy when you are visiting and do so only when you get the go-ahead. She needs to sleep round the clock, just like her baby. It’s extremely tiring and stressful to entertain “guests” during this period of time. Imagine washing the guest’s cups after they left?
4. Lend a helping hand while you’re at her place!
But please wash your hands! Having some help here and there means so much, SO MUCH. Even when it’s merely “eye-powering” over the newborn. New mommy could have some me-time (even if it’s just 5-mins) to herself like bathing or simply just having time to wash her face and tidy her hair. YES, that’s how busy you get with a newborn.
5. Run simple errands for new mommy!
Yes, the little things. There is just 101 things to get and buy for herself and the baby during the confinement period. Mommies who are following a strict confinement are confined at home hence help is needed. I do my online shopping while I pump in the middle of the night, anytime. From buying Spectra spare parts to Pigeon feeding bottles to baby mattress cover and towels. But there’s just certain small things such as a hair tie, tissues and maternity pads that she needs and it’s URGENT! Right?
Aside these 5 tips I have shared personally, I think it’s always good to spend some time and listen to a new mom’s thoughts and look out for any signs of depression. The first few months following a baby’s birth is one of the most challenging time, like what I mentioned earlier with a severe lack of sleep and the thought of being responsible for a new life, etc.
Be supportive and encourage her to get a breather if necessary. Have a short stroll in the park, eating an ice cream and simply chill & chat in a cafe. Sanity is extremely important, so please take care of yourself, mommies! ♡
Mabel Tan 